The People You Roll With

This post from Gracie Chatswood in Australia about "The Guys You Roll With" has been making the rounds in the women's BJJ forums.  The post outlines 6 kinds of guys that women in BJJ encounter on a regular basis.

The post is meant to be funny, and to acknowledge the issues women in BJJ deal with at some point.  I'm the first one to laugh at a joke, but this post stuck with me after I read it because it wasn't comprehensive.  The post forgot a few categories of the guys I have encountered on the mat.  And so, I amend the list:

(7)  The Motivator:  This guy is so excited to have women joining the academy, he goes out of his way to help.  He's always finding a way to compliment your technique and point out what you've improved on.  This guy has zero ego, and is genuinely excited when a smaller training partner catches him.

(8)  The Big Brother/Father Figure:  This guy watches very carefully to make sure that the guys you are rolling with aren't accidentally dangerous.  If a particularly spazzy white belt wants to roll with you, this guy will be sure to take a moment to give you a pointer on how to beat the spazz.  He makes sure to check in on you off the mat, notices when you aren't in class, and and gives you pointers on things to read outside class, where to buy a great gi, and tells you the stories about when he was starting out and how often he wanted to quit.

(9)  The Class Clown:  This guy is epically fun to roll with.  He's trying new things, letting you try new things, with zero ego about whether or not it works.  When he gets caught, he cracks a joke or compliments you while he's being tapped out.

I'm happy to report that my training partners at Robot fall in the above categories -- rather than the categories Gracie Chatswood came up with.  Sure, in three years of rolling I've come into contact with some guys who had issues, but they are the exception -- not the rule.

The Gracie Chatswood post also started me thinking about the different women I've rolled with at Robot, at SoCal Women's Open Mats, and competitions:

(1) The Diva:  Ah, The Diva.  I started out as The Diva.  I had something to prove, but I didn't even know what it was.  I took every single tap personally.  I was convinced no one wanted to roll with me because I was a girl (not because I was terrible at the sport -- which was probably the case).  The Diva is so certain no one wants a girl on the mat, she becomes hyper-feminine; her gis are pink, purple, sparkly confections that give her traditional Brazilian coaches heartburn.  Fortunately, The Diva doesn't stick around for long.  Eventually she becomes comfortable in her own skin, confident of her skills, and happy to help new students get up to speed.  Be kind to her, because you were her.

(2) The Athlete: This woman has played sports her entire life.  She lifts.  She does Cross Fit.  She was a cross-country runner/pole vaulter/cheerleader/gymnast in college.  She wants to roll with the guys more than the girls, because the guys are the real challenge.  And she wants to roll hard.  She rolls with injuries because that's what athletes do, bitches!

(3) The Damsel in Distress:  This woman seems to have forgotten she's signed up for a combat sport.  She gets "injured" nearly every class, and there are almost always tears involved.  She thinks everyone goes "too hard" on her, but refuses to acknowledge that it is because she is rolling like she's in the finals at the Pyramid.  Everyone is surprised she keeps showing up to class, but she does, and she grows on you.  Magically, one day, she turns into one of the most vicious creatures on the mat.

(4) The Legacy: This woman has been doing martial arts since she was old enough to tie a belt.  Her father or older brother got her into the sport, and she also cross-trains in Judo.  She is 13, she weighs 90 pounds, but when she rolls with you it's like she generates a gravity field that makes her weigh 300 pounds.  She knows all the rules without having to give them much thought, and when you ask her what it means to be in someone's guard, she looks at you like you may be brain damaged.  She is your inspiration.

(5) The Veteran:  She's been there, done that.  She's been the only woman on the mat, she's seen women come and go, and she stays because she loves to roll.  She encourages other women to train, to stick it out, but she knows that if they don't love the game, there's nothing she can do.  She's had shoulder injuries, knee injuries, wrist injuries, back injuries...but if she stays away from the mat for more than a week, she feels like a part of her soul is missing.  She dreams about BJJ and wakes up with a RNC hold on her body pillow.