Retiring and Improving

Last week I made it to Robot for 4 classes in 5 days. I feel amazing despite being sore in places I didn't know could be sore. We are working on mount, which is really important for me. I get bumped off of mount so much that I've started to turn it into an attack. I'm not kidding. My best cross chokes get sunk in as I'm being reversed. I worked a lot on getting my base, sinking in my cross face, and letting go of my attack in order to get my base back out. I am feeling much better about mount than I ever have.

The last few weeks class has been way more fun than it has been for the last year. I recently decided to "retire" from competing because I think I put too much pressure on myself when I am competing -- so much so that I stop enjoying class and stop really learning. Instead of trying new things and experimenting with moves during a roll, I would push myself to stay safe and try to win. I treated class like a competition, and I would feel like I had failed at the end. It wasn't fun anymore.

So, I retired. And the craziest thing happened. Not only am I having fun in class again, I'm getting measurably better. I get taps more frequently and am starting to get in positions that I have never been in before. I notice that I'm able to evaluate options and then pick one and abandon it if it is not going well. I've gotten the back a few times, and actually did a few arm submissions, too. The other night I even tried to pop up a triangle. I didn't get it, but I tried and I sat there adjusting myself trying to make it work until I got passed. I would have never tried that before.

I think I also may have figured out my scheduling issues. I tried a 7 am class this week and felt great for the rest of the day, so I'm going to try and keep that up for as long as I can. It felt good to start the day with training and know it was taken care of, and then focus on work. I understand there may be times when it just doesn't make sense to train 5 times a week, but I'm going to do my best. I feel like a better person when I get to the mat regularly. I want to keep it up!