Today I remembered how much I have forgotten.

Trained two days in a row!! Woot!! I would love to say I feel great, but what I really feel is like someone went to town on my thighs with a baseball bat. That is probably because on Friday we were drilling the leg drag to knee across pass, and Tim insisted that we hit at least 100 reps and somehow Ruby and I miscounted and did 120. Oops. We finished Friday's drills with De la Riva inversions, but I just let Ruby practice on me -- my inversions are difficult on a good day, let alone when I am still getting my land legs back.* It felt really good to be back on the mat, and as much as I wanted to spar, I made myself sit it out and watch.

Today, however, I trained one-on-one with the sexy blue belt you see to your right, who also happens to be my husband. Until now, I haven't even let him drill with me, because of our size difference: He's 6'2" fights at 190 and I'm 5'2" and fight at 145 (and should fight at 125). However, after the events described in the "Fear of Men" post, I realized I needed to address my issues drilling with guys in general and having larger training partners. I also found myself without any women to train with this weekend, despite being healthy for the first time in a long time. It dawned on me that I actually live with and love one of the biggest and scariest guys at our academy, who is also a pretty good teacher. I asked if he would show me his moves, and of course, he obliged.

We spent about an hour and a half at the academy during open mat, working on my open guard pass. Because I have none. Every time I try to pass, I get swept. I don't even know how it happens. Pat showed me how to step one foot right into a seated opponent's guard, underhook or grab behind the collar, push them back with my knee, and then knee across pass to the non-hook side. It was so simple once I did it over and over again, but I had never been able to figure it out on my own. Then we worked on me getting to closed guard when I start a spar, because Ruby just kills me from here. I can't get anything. It feels like I end up mounted the moment I touch her. I feel OK about getting to closed guard from starting now, but still a little shaky. Harder was the push/pull sweep from closed guard, because apparently my brain just does not know how to push AND pull at the same time.

After we drilled for about an hour or so, little Andre wanted to lightly roll because he is competing tomorrow at the Pro Gear Open. That is where I remembered how much I have forgotten. It was ridiculous. He bounced me around like a rag doll. I didn't get hurt (though I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel it tomorrow), but my only job was to pass guard and I could not do a damned thing! Not one. He just picked me up and flipped me around and...

Better luck next time. Right?

*The vertigo seems to be properly diagnosed and getting better every day. I still feel it, and the doctors say it could take up to two weeks for it to completely go away, but I feel better than I have in months. YAY!!