Arigatou gozaimasu!!

This last weekend was the IBJJF World Championships in Long Beach, California, just an hour away from my home.  I was able to go for the entire day on Saturday to watch.  It was amazing.  This is the third year in a row that I was able to attend, but the first year I actually understood what I was seeing.

This was definitely the year of the fancy guards.  Everyone was inverting and De La Riva-ing and 50/50-ing; spider guard was also getting pulled by lots of players.  While the details of those guards make NO sense to me, I did take something away from the players getting past those guards: they never quit.  Never.  They have confidence in their position and they continue to push.  They never quit pushing.  BJJ's constant metaphors for life never cease to amaze me.

My academy had some tough losses that were hard to see, but I hope everyone learns from them.  Oddly, the hardest loss came at the biggest moment -- my beloved Light-Feather black belt professor, Laercio Fernandez, made it to the gold medal match against Gui Mendes and then lost by decision.  Laercio is one of the most generous, loving, caring, friendly, and amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life.  He competes with such heart...to lose the gold like that was difficult, but I refuse to see it as a loss.  My professor won SILVER at WORLDS!!! It is an amazing accomplishment and I am honored to be his student.

On Monday, our academy got a big surprise.  Three black belts from Japan who had come to compete at Worlds ran a seminar in place of our regular class, at no cost.  The BJJ they do is so different and so unique...it is indescribable.  We learned spider guard sweeps, cross grip guard sweeps, and some amazing underhook butterfly guard submissions.

I've written a lot about how much my academy means to me.  Lately, for what I have been going through and dealing with in my life, there just are not words for how much I love them all.  They are my family.

Learning New Things

I actually made it to BJJ several times this week, and learned a ton.  

(1) Spider Guard:  I learned some great sweeps that I had never seen before.  

• The Airplane:  Get your grips.  Get your feet on your opponent's hips.  Use your grips to pull them in and toward your head while using your feet to hoist them in the air.  If you do it right, they should not be able to touch the ground no matter how big they are.  Pull in one of their arms, push on the other, and let your leg on the sided you are pushing to slip off the hip.  They fall into your guard and you use the momentum of them falling to come up to mount.  Not only awesome, but tons of fun to try out.

• Knee Across Sit Up Sweep:  I actually don't know the name for this one, but that is the action.  So...Anyway, you have spider guard grips.  Get your leg lasso.  Drop your foot from the tricep.  If your opponent moves to get side control (i.e., starts to try and smash the hell out of you) move your shin across their hips and pull them toward you as you lift that shin up.  Keep that leg lasso tight, and with the shin across they should be loaded up well enough (stuck) that you can simply sit up and come to knee on belly or side control.  **Caution** Make sure you get out of that leg lasso as soon as you come up, as it is an illegal bicep cutter if you hang out too long.  

(2) Side Control Escape:  Due to my complete and utter lack of any open guard defense, I end up in side control.  A lot.  I have a really hard time getting out of it, and it is very frustrating.  On Saturday, the hubs and I went to open mat and we discovered that I didn't know one of the most effective methods to get out of side control:  the reversal.  Also, we discovered that my basic side control hip bump escape is terrible because I am not explosive enough.  I know that seems pretty obvious, but it wasn't.  

• Side Control Reversal Escape:  My husband is not small.  He's got a foot and about 50 pounds on me, and he is a blue belt.  He is the perfect person to practice side control escapes with.  If I can get him off of me, I can get a 130 pound woman off of me in a tournament.  When your opponent has you in side control, rather than framing up into their neck and hips, wrap your arms tightly around them.  Grip your own hands between their shoulder blades (gable or s-grip is best), and walk your hips as close to theirs as possible. Once your hands are tightly secured, bridge your hips.  Pay attention to your opponent's pressure, as this bridge will cause them to push into you.  When you feel the push, bridge with their momentum to get them to roll completely over.  You want as much of their weight off the ground and onto you as possible.  **Caution** As you come to the top, make sure your weight is not too far over their chest, or else the roll will just keep going.  I was practicing coming directly up to knee-on-belly to stop the roll, and that seemed pretty effective.  

(3) Turtle Bump Escape:  Due to my small size and general tendency to freak out and play defense, I also end up in turtle a lot.  For a very long time.  I've gotten so good at protecting myself in turtle, that I don't remember how to get out of it.  Friday morning, my coach decided it was time for me to start getting out of turtle, and matched me up with a 230 pound wrestler.  I still hurt.  

• Turtle Bump Escape:  If your opponent gets their far arm in between your arm and leg, grab it and pin it as close to your body as possible.  You've just removed a base that they can use.  I know that seems obvious when I say it, but I had never thought about it like that.  When I am in turtle, every fiber of my being is focused on keeping them from getting any arms or legs in anywhere.  Once that arm is pinned, all at once, as forcefully as possible, use your legs to push off the mat and explode toward the side you have pinned.  Be ready to scramble and turn to kesagatame or side control.  **Caution** Be very aware of where your arms are.  This can turn into a crucifix submission for your opponent very quickly.  

All in all, I think I had a great week at the gym.  I really focused on being present and pushing myself the entire time.  One night, I was tapped less times than I got submissions, and that is a first.  I was also transitioning from one submission to another without thinking, which has also never happened for me.  

I think this sums it up:  

Fingertips of Fire

I had a minor setback last week, and wasn't able to get through a full BJJ class until today.  The wrist was NOT ready and was very angry with me for going back too soon.

However, today I did it.  I made it through a whole class.  We worked spider guard, which I like to call puppet guard, since what you are doing is making your partner look like a marionette.

I'm still figuring out how to get out of the illegal bicep cutter when I do a spider guard sweep, but overall I'm happy with it.  My fingertips, however, are on FIRE.  Fire.  Lava.

You know why the fingertips of fire are worth it?  I got subs tonight more times than I was tapped.  And all my subs were armbars.  This was the first time, on both fronts.  Even better, I felt alive on the mat.  Driven, focused, and lethal.  I pushed myself to not quit, to try new things, and left everything out there.

Can't wait to get back at it tomorrow.

Back At It

I'm pleased to report that the wrist is as good as it is going to get.  Tomorrow, I get back on the mat.

Wrist Wrecked

Last Monday I decided to get tough and stay for the advanced class.  It was great.  Even during the warm-ups I was really feeling like I was going to get a workout like I used to get when I first started training.  And we were going over one of my favorite positions -- kesagatame. 

I LOVE this position.  You are on your opponent's chest, on your side, facing them, with an underhook under their arm and your legs scissored out to the side, driving in to them.  It is a really great way to control an opponent using little energy if you get the positioning right, which allows you to calm yourself and think about strategy.  My favorite thing is an armbar from kesagatame, where you get the hook under the head and grab your own leg.  Their arm is now trapped between your body and your leg, and you simply push down on the arm with your foot.  BOOM!! Armbarred. 

We drilled and drilled the position and getting the weight correctly, and then we moved to positional sparring.  I was trying to use a technique Tim and talked about to secure my position over Jane, where my arm was directly under her, on her spine.  Well, I did it wrong and right as I realized it was dangerous, she bumped and squirmed to escape and the wrist that was under her felt as if it twisted all the way around and it made horrible snapping sounds.  I couldn't move it.  I was terrified. 

I went to Urgent Care the next morning to get x-rays, and was relieved that it wasn't broken.  I was given a compression splint to wear through Friday, and instructed to ice it as much as possible.  And so, I was out and sitting on the sidelines for a week.  My wrist feels stiff and a little tender, but nothing that some tape can't take care of, so I'm going to try and make it to class tonight. 

I could really do without an injury every other week. 

Fancy Guard

Public information announcement:  It turns out if you do like 500 squats/lunges with proper form, your ass REALLY hurts. 

Despite my throbbing glutes and hammies, and an extremely drizzly and yucky Monday morning, I made it to Robot before 7 and was able to get almost 1.5 hours of training in.  Once I warmed up, the glutes and hammies were actually feeling better.  I'm really proud of myself for making it out. 

In the morning class, we are working the X-Guard.  One of the entries in to X-guard requires some swiveling and almost spinning, which usually means death for me.  Once I go upside down or a swivel, I lose all sense of direction and who I am and forget what I am supposed to be doing and where I am.  It's unnerving. 

Today, however, I was picking up on everything really quickly and feeling good about it.  I can see how the X-Guard would be great for someone my size, and I am sticking to my desire to work on open guard offense and defense since I seem to have closed guard and half guard down (as much as a whitebelt can actually "know" something, that is). 

My favorite thing we learned today was the scissor sweep from X-Guard; if you are trying to do the traditional push sweep to standup from x-guard and your partner's base is too heavy, you simply drop your bottom hook to the ankle and scissor your legs in opposite directions against your opponents legs, and BOOM!!! Big guys fall to the mat!! WOOT!! NOTE:  Be CAREFUL getting up from this sweep.  You will likely end up in their closed guard, but you could end up triangled.  As they start to fall, scramble to come up with them and try to keep your hooks active to block that leg. 

I had such a great time today, I'm super stoked to get back for evening classes.  I'm staying for advanced after the intermediate class for the first time.  Exciting!!!

Takedown Hell

The last couple weeks in the evening class, we have been doing takedowns and wrestling. 

I.  Hate.  It. 

I really do.  Really and truly and honestly with every fiber of my being.  It scares me.  Terrifies me.  I actually start to get a little shaky before class because I'm so scared. 

Have I ever been hurt during a takedown?  No. 

Have I seen people get hurt?  No. 

I used to do gymnastics as a kid.  I was pretty good.  The one event I could not do was the vault.  Terrified me.  Who, in their right mind, runs straight at a large, inanimate object, at full speed?  Who does that???

I have the same feeeling with takedowns and wrestling.  Who, in their right mind, lets someone come at them and take them to the ground?!?!? It's just so unnatural!! My biggest problem is that I am utterly terrified of two things:  (1) Getting hurt and (2) hurting someone else.  Yes, I realize it is a combat sport.  Yes, I realize that for all intents and purposes you need to hurt someone **a little** in order to be successful.  But I can't get past how unnatural it seems to throw someone down on the mat and be alright with someone tossing me down onto the mat. 

That said, I have been going to class.  I have been getting out there and doing the single leg, the double leg, the arm drag, and the fireman's carry.  I've done them all in drilling, and I have attempted them all in sparring.  I have had them done on me in sparring and I have not died.  I will go back again tonight and do it all over. 

I will not quit.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Lots has been going on in my life, both in and out of the gym, that has caused me to sit back and reflect on what I really want for my life.

When I am in the gym, I am happy.  There is nothing better than sitting on the mat at the end of a class dripping in sweat.  Even if I got ground to a pulp during every roll, I still feel a sense of accomplishment.  I've been working the scissor sweep and focusing on open guard, and feel like I'm finally getting things together.  For the next few weeks we are working wrestling and stand up and I am forcing myself to have no fear and just do it.  It's terrifying, but I'm going to get it done.

When I am at home with my husband, I am happy.  It isn't the house, though it is wonderful, it is just being there with him.  He's been through everything with me and he still believes in me.  Knowing how much he loves me makes me feel happy and safe.

Happy is not a word you could use to describe me at work.  And so, after a lot of thought and tears, I'm done.  I can't live my life miserable for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.  So, I'm spending a lot of time figuring out what I am passionate about and how to turn that into something that I would love to do every day for the rest of my life.  Wish me luck!

Felled by the Flu

I was doing so well!! So well!! I had been doing daily doubles (7 am class and the 6:30 pm class) three times a week, and really progressing.  I even gave a big guy such a run for his money defending his guard pass that I got walloped on the head during his smash pass and was out with a jacked up neck for a few days.  During the jacked up neck healing phase, I came down with the flu and am just now feeling better.  I missed Women's Open Mat because of it.  LAME!!

Here's the great part:  I feel like I've finally passed whatever BJJ block I was going through.  During the last class I was able to go to on Friday morning, right before the head wallop, I realized how interchangeable the butterfly hook sweep and scissor sweep are.  I was getting my grips for the hook sweep on a monster of a guy -- he's just under 6 feet and about 240 pounds -- and realized that a better option than flipping him with my leg was to push isolate his left arm, push back his left knee, and knock him over that way.  I didn't do it (remember?  Wallop.  Smash.) because I wasn't thinking quickly enough, but I did see it.

I'm really excited that I'm feeling better the last few hours.  I feel like tomorrow is another two a day, coming my way.  And maybe I'll nail that scissor sweep.

Drilling Pays Off

I went a little training crazy this week.  I actually had time and energy to make it to the 7 am class AND 6:30 pm classes on Wednesday and Friday.  On the days I didn't train, I ran.

Wednesday morning it was just me, another student, and the instructor.  We were both white belts, and the other guy was pretty new, so we worked side control for him.  For me, we worked the arm-across sweep from closed guard.  I have a really good closed guard, but I only have the hip bump from closed guard.  I have NO open guard yet.  None.

For those of you who don't know, the arm-across from closed guard is when you get your opponent down close to you, with his arm across your chest and isolated.  From there, you post up, swing down and grab the pants, open your guard, and kick your legs up into the armpit to get them to go over.  I'm sure I'm not describing it properly.  It's a really effective sweep, if you do it right.  I never do it right.  We drilled it over and over and over.  So much that I thought I was going to vomit, but by the end of class I felt like I understood it.

Apparently I did understand it, because during sparring on Friday I got my opponent in my closed guard and got his arm across.  I was looking at it, nervous to try, when Tim yelled "Veronica, grab the pants and go!!"  And I did.  AND IT WORKED!!!

I couldn't believe it.  Something happened this week, and I finally feel like I get it.  I realized that I'm not playing defense, I'm defending to stay alive and get to play offense.  I know offense!! What!?!?

Two a Day

I made it to Robot TWICE today to train!! That's right!! I feel great.

I've spent a lot of the last month trying to figure out how to take care of myself and train.  It's been good. I've started running in the morning and I've managed to fit in BJJ training 3x a week.  I'm going to be able to train in the morning now because Robot made morning class MWF now, and I LOVE the new morning instructor.

I learned SO much this morning.  Arun (my morning instructor) let us pick a move that we have a hard time with, and drill it over and over and over.  I picked my arm across sweep from closed guard.  I have great attacks from closed guard, a hip bump sweep, and sometimes I can get an arm across and take the back.  But I honestly have NO SWEEPS from closed guard.  None.  And I end up being exhausted from trying to keep my guard and attack.

After working with Arun all morning, I realized what I had been doing wrong and finally and really and truly understood the closed guard arm across sweep.  We changed up how I get my grips, how I pop up and take the back hook, and then worked on my posting.  It turns out I wasn't posting high enough and just wasn't understanding the swivel that I need to do with my legs, and I was stopping my own momentum by landing flat on my back.  It's hard to explain.  I'll work on explaining it.

Needless to say, I'm baaaaAAAaaaaack!!

Mad Sweeps

I've got mad sweeps. FINALLY!!! I finally feel like I can say that and mean it. Because tonight, I swept a guy almost a foot taller than me who had at least 50 pounds on me. That's right. And you know what?

Maybe he didn't want to smash me during the half guard positional sparring drill.

Maybe he thought he would hurt me.

Maybe I don't care why he let me shrimp down and get ahold of his foot and then turn my knees to the mat and push with my shoulder.

A sweep is a sweep is a sweep. We've been working half guard and the old school sweep for two weeks. I know my shit. I want to win. I want to sweep. I want to practice what I've been learning.

Maybe next time he should take me seriously. And I'll still sweep him. ;)

Retiring and Improving

Last week I made it to Robot for 4 classes in 5 days. I feel amazing despite being sore in places I didn't know could be sore. We are working on mount, which is really important for me. I get bumped off of mount so much that I've started to turn it into an attack. I'm not kidding. My best cross chokes get sunk in as I'm being reversed. I worked a lot on getting my base, sinking in my cross face, and letting go of my attack in order to get my base back out. I am feeling much better about mount than I ever have.

The last few weeks class has been way more fun than it has been for the last year. I recently decided to "retire" from competing because I think I put too much pressure on myself when I am competing -- so much so that I stop enjoying class and stop really learning. Instead of trying new things and experimenting with moves during a roll, I would push myself to stay safe and try to win. I treated class like a competition, and I would feel like I had failed at the end. It wasn't fun anymore.

So, I retired. And the craziest thing happened. Not only am I having fun in class again, I'm getting measurably better. I get taps more frequently and am starting to get in positions that I have never been in before. I notice that I'm able to evaluate options and then pick one and abandon it if it is not going well. I've gotten the back a few times, and actually did a few arm submissions, too. The other night I even tried to pop up a triangle. I didn't get it, but I tried and I sat there adjusting myself trying to make it work until I got passed. I would have never tried that before.

I think I also may have figured out my scheduling issues. I tried a 7 am class this week and felt great for the rest of the day, so I'm going to try and keep that up for as long as I can. It felt good to start the day with training and know it was taken care of, and then focus on work. I understand there may be times when it just doesn't make sense to train 5 times a week, but I'm going to do my best. I feel like a better person when I get to the mat regularly. I want to keep it up!

Frustration

I haven't made it to Robot since last Friday. My job keeps getting in the way. I make it to the office, ass in chair, by 8 every day. I take a 30 minute lunch -- tops. I work efficiently and diligently, and without fail this last week every time I was getting up to head to the gym I got a call or an emergency issue to deal with.

It doesn't feel fair. How can it be so hard to be walking out the door at 6 when I've been at the office since 8? The 7:30 class I can totally do, but it isn't for my belt level anymore. If I want my blue I have to attend the 6:30 class regularly. For some reason my office just cannot seem to let me go by 6.

I read these posts by black belts and higher belts about how you can't let any excuse get in the way of training, that you have to figure out a way to make it work, and I get really frustrated. I don't know what else to do. I've even tried getting to the office at 7 (after having trained until 9:30 the night before) and I still get calls and issues to deal with at 6. If I leave the office anyway and deal with it after class, I could be fired. Really. So these posts about not letting work be an excuse...are they saying to risk getting fired? I don't get it.

Maybe I could go to the two morning classes a week my gym has...I don't know. I'm extremely frustrated at trying to balance work and training, and I can't seem to find a way out of it.

Open Mat & the X Guard Sweep

Yesterday at girls' class we worked an X-guard sweep that I thought I had down pretty well. We started from a basic open guard (grab sleeves, lean back, feet on hips of your partner) and then dove under our partner's legs and hooked the ankle to the shoulder while doing a collar drag. Get your x-hooks in, and push against your partner's thigh. As they start to fall, let go of the collar and lift the leg up and as the fall stand up. We practiced it a lot. And positional sparred. I thought I got it. And then I went to open mat.

My hubs is about a foot taller than me, and I was drilling it on him. It . Did. Not. Work. We drilled and drilled and drilled and even worked on my technical stand up to make sure I was doing it right. For the life of me I could not push him over!! ARGH!!!! I hate when I think I did something well in class, and then in execution I cannot get it to work. So frustrating.

Nothing left to do but train train train and drill drill drill. I really think this sweep could work for me if I could just get it right.

Team Oyama, the destroyer

The good news: the vertigo seems gone. GONE!!! I have pushed myself really hard this week and the dizzy that comes along with some of the basic BJJ training drills (bear crawl, dead bug, little car) doesn't stay for more than a few minutes after the drill. This is a BIG step for me. Feeling dizzy is hard for me. I freak out a little. I get really scared that the dizzy won't go away and I tense up. But it has gone away each time!! Watch out, tomorrow I might actually try front/back rolls!

The bad news: I'm 15 pounds heavier and sooooooo out of shape. Everything. Hurts.

Today I drove Bri down to Team Oyama with me to take the girls' class with Laercio and Erica. As per usual, the warm-up nearly killed me. But we worked x-guard and I needed that. We drilled a sweep, and they did positional sparring on that sweep; had to do 5 pushups every time we got swept. And I did about 200 pushups. I'm not joking.

Kicking and Punching

I made it to Robot today in time for cardio kickboxing, and despite feeling like I was going to die from exhaustion most of the hour, it was the best hour I have had in a long time. Using my body again feels...there just aren't words for how good it feels.

New Year, New Schedule, New Curriculum

Happy New Year!!!

Robot started a brand new schedule tonight, and I was super stoked to go try it out. They added an intermediate class specifically geared toward white belts that want to get their blue belts. That would be me!! I would love to have it in 2012, even if it is December 31, 2012. I'm tired of spinning my wheels with my training. 2012 is the year I step it up and take a real shot at that blue.

After so many weeks and months off from real training, I was apprehensive, but I did great!! I haven't had a single vertigo episode for two weeks, and I went off my vertigo meds due to the side effects that were making training and functioning as a normal human being impossible. Words cannot describe how wonderful I felt getting back on the mat and how great I feel now that the work out is done.

I really enjoyed the workout. We worked some basic closed guard moves, but in a way I had never worked on before and I learned a lot. I learned that I had been getting triangled from my closed guard passes because my base isn't wide enough and I'm not keeping my elbows out and locked and protecting the climb. I also learned that the problem with my hip bump sweep was that I wasn't bumping my hips up and high enough -- I was just pushing forward with low hips. Once I figured that out, it was going really well. Sparring was hard -- I can't seem to execute during sparring the way I do during drilling. Just one more thing to work on in 2012!!

I was also inspired to be more vocal and show less fear during training by this article: http://www.richmondselfdefense.com/2011/uncategorized/brazilian-jiu-jitsu—a-female-perspective/ If you are a woman and train, or you train with women, check it out. She had some things to say that I really needed to hear, like that women have to be outgoing and proactive about their training because they are usually the only or one of few at their gyms. We have to be fearless. I'll admit that lately I've caved to the fear; fear of failure, fear of getting hurt, fear of making an ass of myself, fear of guys flat out telling me they don't want to train with a girl... you name it and I have feared it. Not this year. Not any more. I want to progress and get better. I want to keep the feeling I had after my last tournament when I knew what was happening every step of the way. I'm going to keep training and training and training until it clicks. And when it does, it's going to be glorious.