Monday, April 30, 2012

Wrist Wrecked

Last Monday I decided to get tough and stay for the advanced class.  It was great.  Even during the warm-ups I was really feeling like I was going to get a workout like I used to get when I first started training.  And we were going over one of my favorite positions -- kesagatame. 

I LOVE this position.  You are on your opponent's chest, on your side, facing them, with an underhook under their arm and your legs scissored out to the side, driving in to them.  It is a really great way to control an opponent using little energy if you get the positioning right, which allows you to calm yourself and think about strategy.  My favorite thing is an armbar from kesagatame, where you get the hook under the head and grab your own leg.  Their arm is now trapped between your body and your leg, and you simply push down on the arm with your foot.  BOOM!! Armbarred. 

We drilled and drilled the position and getting the weight correctly, and then we moved to positional sparring.  I was trying to use a technique Tim and talked about to secure my position over Jane, where my arm was directly under her, on her spine.  Well, I did it wrong and right as I realized it was dangerous, she bumped and squirmed to escape and the wrist that was under her felt as if it twisted all the way around and it made horrible snapping sounds.  I couldn't move it.  I was terrified. 

I went to Urgent Care the next morning to get x-rays, and was relieved that it wasn't broken.  I was given a compression splint to wear through Friday, and instructed to ice it as much as possible.  And so, I was out and sitting on the sidelines for a week.  My wrist feels stiff and a little tender, but nothing that some tape can't take care of, so I'm going to try and make it to class tonight. 

I could really do without an injury every other week. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Fancy Guard

Public information announcement:  It turns out if you do like 500 squats/lunges with proper form, your ass REALLY hurts. 

Despite my throbbing glutes and hammies, and an extremely drizzly and yucky Monday morning, I made it to Robot before 7 and was able to get almost 1.5 hours of training in.  Once I warmed up, the glutes and hammies were actually feeling better.  I'm really proud of myself for making it out. 

In the morning class, we are working the X-Guard.  One of the entries in to X-guard requires some swiveling and almost spinning, which usually means death for me.  Once I go upside down or a swivel, I lose all sense of direction and who I am and forget what I am supposed to be doing and where I am.  It's unnerving. 

Today, however, I was picking up on everything really quickly and feeling good about it.  I can see how the X-Guard would be great for someone my size, and I am sticking to my desire to work on open guard offense and defense since I seem to have closed guard and half guard down (as much as a whitebelt can actually "know" something, that is). 

My favorite thing we learned today was the scissor sweep from X-Guard; if you are trying to do the traditional push sweep to standup from x-guard and your partner's base is too heavy, you simply drop your bottom hook to the ankle and scissor your legs in opposite directions against your opponents legs, and BOOM!!! Big guys fall to the mat!! WOOT!! NOTE:  Be CAREFUL getting up from this sweep.  You will likely end up in their closed guard, but you could end up triangled.  As they start to fall, scramble to come up with them and try to keep your hooks active to block that leg. 

I had such a great time today, I'm super stoked to get back for evening classes.  I'm staying for advanced after the intermediate class for the first time.  Exciting!!!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Takedown Hell

The last couple weeks in the evening class, we have been doing takedowns and wrestling. 

I.  Hate.  It. 

I really do.  Really and truly and honestly with every fiber of my being.  It scares me.  Terrifies me.  I actually start to get a little shaky before class because I'm so scared. 

Have I ever been hurt during a takedown?  No. 

Have I seen people get hurt?  No. 

I used to do gymnastics as a kid.  I was pretty good.  The one event I could not do was the vault.  Terrified me.  Who, in their right mind, runs straight at a large, inanimate object, at full speed?  Who does that???

I have the same feeeling with takedowns and wrestling.  Who, in their right mind, lets someone come at them and take them to the ground?!?!? It's just so unnatural!! My biggest problem is that I am utterly terrified of two things:  (1) Getting hurt and (2) hurting someone else.  Yes, I realize it is a combat sport.  Yes, I realize that for all intents and purposes you need to hurt someone **a little** in order to be successful.  But I can't get past how unnatural it seems to throw someone down on the mat and be alright with someone tossing me down onto the mat. 

That said, I have been going to class.  I have been getting out there and doing the single leg, the double leg, the arm drag, and the fireman's carry.  I've done them all in drilling, and I have attempted them all in sparring.  I have had them done on me in sparring and I have not died.  I will go back again tonight and do it all over. 

I will not quit.

Monday, April 16, 2012

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Lots has been going on in my life, both in and out of the gym, that has caused me to sit back and reflect on what I really want for my life.

When I am in the gym, I am happy.  There is nothing better than sitting on the mat at the end of a class dripping in sweat.  Even if I got ground to a pulp during every roll, I still feel a sense of accomplishment.  I've been working the scissor sweep and focusing on open guard, and feel like I'm finally getting things together.  For the next few weeks we are working wrestling and stand up and I am forcing myself to have no fear and just do it.  It's terrifying, but I'm going to get it done.

When I am at home with my husband, I am happy.  It isn't the house, though it is wonderful, it is just being there with him.  He's been through everything with me and he still believes in me.  Knowing how much he loves me makes me feel happy and safe.

Happy is not a word you could use to describe me at work.  And so, after a lot of thought and tears, I'm done.  I can't live my life miserable for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.  So, I'm spending a lot of time figuring out what I am passionate about and how to turn that into something that I would love to do every day for the rest of my life.  Wish me luck!